The words 'sin' and 'repentance' seem somewhat old-fashioned don't they? I'm often told to change them when I'm editing Bible study notes, as people don't relate to such terminology these days.

It is true that sin and repentance are concepts that seem to go against the grain. Our individualistic society feeds off the thought that 'I' should focus on myself – and that 'truth' is simply what I believe and how dare anyone challenge that. But that smacks of a hardness of heart – whereas we are called to be softened and malleable in God's hands.

God has been talking to me a lot recently about how vital our need to say sorry is. I've come to realise that repentance actually holds the key to unlocking so much freedom within us as Christians.

We need to say sorry both to God and to others. We need to have the grace to allow others to say sorry to us and forgive when necessary.

It is true that, as Elton John says, 'sorry seems to be the hardest word'. However, here are five compelling reasons to put in the effort.

1. It reveals a humble, honest heart.

God wants us to be humble enough to acknowledge when we are in the wrong, rather than trying to cover it up. When we come to Him with honesty it shows integrity; we aren't trying to pretend we are better than we are. Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness demonstrates our continued need of a Saviour. We can't do everything in our own strength – repenting when we trip up shows that we recognise this and are leaning on God.

I love spending time in the psalms – David is one of my biblical heroes. So much strength, wisdom, depth of feeling and a worshipful heart, and yet he wasn't perfect. He stooped to an all-time low in his episode of covering up his sin with Bathsheba, but, when the prophet Nathan confronted David his immediate response was 'I have sinned against God', and he wrote Psalm 51 to God soon after. Here's a snippet:

Have mercy on me, O God,

 according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

 blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity

 and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,

 and my sin is always before me...

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

 wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

2. It opens us up to our own healing.

When we are honest about our shortcomings, and repent fully, it releases God's grace in our lives. His love, acceptance and forgiveness release a security and faith in our hearts. This faith and trust allows us to have a deep relationship with both Him and others.

We will all be hurt at some time, but how we deal with that either frees us from the hurt or causes us to sin. If the latter occurs we need to repent of our response.

So often we can be self-righteous when we respond to a wrong done to us, feeling like the other person is wholly to blame so our response is justified. And yet, while God holds them 100% responsible for what they have done, He holds us 100% responsible for our actions – check out Matthew 6:14-15.

'For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.'

It makes for pretty sobering reading doesn't it?

When we hold on to bitterness and anger we are sinning. When we repent of that and make the hard choice to forgive, we are actually freeing ourselves. 

3. It helps us to grow in maturity.

God doesn't want robots that behave exactly as He wants them to out of a sense of duty, He wants a relationship with people who love Him like He loves them. Learning to accept responsibility when we make mistakes and saying sorry (to God and also to anyone we have directly hurt) helps us on the journey towards spiritual and emotional maturity.This takes time, because it involves us learning to make the right choices and walk in the freedom that He offers us.

We need to learn to keep short accounts – with those that hurt us, and even ourselves when we behave badly. 1 John 1:9 says 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness'. Psalm 103 (David again) also shows us how He removes our sin from His memory:

'he does not treat us as our sins deserve

 or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

 so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

 so far has he removed our transgressions from us.'

If God has taken our sin away, we don't need to cling on to the memory of it; rather we can learn, humbly, and move forward.

4. It builds unity in our relationships.

God longs for friendship with us, and to unite us with others that love Him. He puts us into church families because they are one of the channels through which His healing comes. When churches are working as they should, love and acceptance freely flows, which in turn helps us walk free of our fears and into wholeness.

In reality, church communities can be very far from this model of grace and love, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. One of the by-products of being in right relationship with God is that we have a desire to restore our relationships with others too.

As Paul wrote in Ephesians 4: 'I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.'

Keeping short accounts with one another, and being willing to say sorry when we know we've hurt someone else, keeps the lines of healing and unity open.

5. It is a great weapon against our enemy's tactics.

It is important to recognise that we have an enemy whose sole aim is to destroy us – as 1 Peter 5:8 says 'Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour'. He tries to entrap us into thinking wrong thoughts so that we are bound up and unable to walk free. He points out our faults, enticing us to focus on them rather than the truths found in God's word. He loves to remind us of the wrongs people have done to us so that we stew in bitterness and anger, because he knows that cuts us of from fellowship with our Father. By repenting, we are refusing to give in to our enemy – as Ephesians 4:27 reminds us: 'do not give the devil a foothold'.

Repentance is certainly a lifestyle that is worth embracing – don't you think?