Video games are everywhere for some people. For others they are invisible.

While this divide between gamers and non-gamers is diminishing, those who don't play can struggle to see how it can be a positive, nourishing and maybe even a spiritual pursuit.

No where is this more true than between younger family members and parents. It's a complex subject, bubbling away around screen-time, online interactions and spiralling costs, but it really comes to a head where more violent games appear on the radar along with experiences that are perceived as addictive.

These console and PC games are made for the over-18s and contain scenes of shockingly realistic shootings, knifings and stranglings. Other titles can contain scenes of a sexual nature, strong language and drug use.

The answer for Christians is as much about spotting God's fingerprints as it is about prohibition and warnings over the dangers. A healthy response should create a context to discuss the benefits and pitfalls, with parents able to take a lead in the discussion rather than simply locking down the ever-increasing number of screens in the house.

The most important thing to understand is that video-games are about something as well as being entertainment. Even those games that don't have a spoken narrative tell players a story about the world – although, unlike films and books, players have to work to discover and overhear these stories rather than have them handed to them on a plate.

Sometimes this narrative is delivered through scraps of letters found in the environment. At other times it's talking to passers-by on the street, or noticing how characters are reacting to each other. More subtly, the way players interact, what they can and can't do in the game will also be part of the story.

In this way, games offer an emotional experience more akin to gazing into a painting or encountering a poem than watching a film or reading a book. Like diving into a lake on a hot day, games are there to submerge yourself in rather than just be solved or completed. This is what makes video games so interesting, diverse and enrapturing for players.

But let's be honest about this: at the same time many video games are violent and depict sex and gender in juvenile ways. Video games are a new medium that is still maturing. This is recognised in the excellent work done to signpost the appropriate audience for specific games. PEGI in the UK and Europe and ESRB in the States carefully rate every game to enable consumers to make informed choices about what they purchase and play. The game box and online breakdown provide not only an age rating but details on why the game got this rating.

There is no way around the need for parents to understand these ratings and to play games themselves before bringing them into the wider family. It sounds simple, but it is confusing at first, particularly if you haven't played games yourself growing up.

There is an array of secondary online resources to help. One site that I run is the UK game industry-funded AskAboutGames.com. There we create two-minute guide videos for every big console game. These clearly and simply show not only what to watch out for but also why each game is so popular. My hope is that this is two minutes that will equip parents to engage with these video games and start to see the God-shaped benefits as well as the potential pitfalls.

My own gaming appetites have broadened over the years. This means that I have been more willing to play violent games, starting from a point of actively avoiding anything with shooting. I'm glad I have, as this has led to experiences I value highly at a personal level.

Whether this is seeing a hard father slowly soften to care for a daughter over 18 hours in The Last of Us, stepping into the shoes of a parent who blames themselves for the loss of their child in Heavy Rain or encountering the untamed wilds of the mid-west in Alan Wake, I'm glad I didn't simply avoid these games because they were too violent.

These are stories about God's humanity and his world. Not only can they take their time to address issues of loss, fear and hope, but they also let the player walk around in the world in someone else's shoes. I often find myself challenged about my own parenting or decisions in life through the eyes of the characters I play in these games.

Beyond understanding what games have to offer, being present in your family's game-playing pursuits is also important. For my family this means keeping video games out of the bedroom and in the family room. Not only does that make it easy to see what is being consumed and how long the children play, but it also ensures we are talking about and sharing these experiences together.

Most gaming hardware offers tools to track how long games are being played for (like the Activity Log on the 3DS), or provide an automated way to limit this time (like the Family Timer on the Xbox 360).

While games are not clinically addictive, the language of addiction can help parents identify when things are getting a bit much. Playing every day, devoting long periods of time, sacrificing other activities; neglecting homework and moodiness: these may describe many of our children, but where four or more of these factors exist it's time to alter how games are played in the home.

In light of this, appropriate gaming time is more about its impact on the child's wider life than a hard and fast time limit. As children get older they will naturally integrate gaming with other activities (outside interests, friendship groups and even homework) so the dividing line will become more blurred.

Understanding, presence and engagement with games changes their status in the home from an alien, sometimes violent, addictive experience to being another part of life we enjoy together and find God active in.

Furthermore, Christians are particularly well placed to find value and meaning in games that also contain problematic violence – after all we have been doing it with the Bible for centuries. We interpret the violent parts of our faith text, such as the conquest of Canaan or the Flood, rather than suggest they shouldn't be included, or even that only grownups should read them. We appreciate the violence is problematic but equally that it is part of the whole story.

Games are of course different "texts" to the Bible, but they throw up some similar problems. They too need to be interpreted to be made sense of and are vulnerable to being discarded by those who don't appreciate the benefits they bring as a whole. When you see the artistic effort and investment put into a video-game it's no surprise that they offer this kind of experience.

Playing games with our interpretive eyes open, and drawing on the historical and linguistic tools we apply to the biblical text, enables Christians to champion the good in video games rather than reach for knee-jerk reactions and easy headlines.

While this approach won't instantly resolve all our concerns, it's the first step on a journey into the surprising breadth of games on offer. As I said in my 2012 TEDx talk: "Stewarding this precious resource not only opens up these ground breaking stories but broadens our understanding of what it means to be human."

Andy Robertson is a freelance family technology expert for The Guardian and the BBC. He runs the Family Gamer TV YouTube channel and contributes to a range of national media on the topic of video-games and family. Andy Robertson tweets @GeekDadGamer.