10 things husband and wife must never do to one another: Marriage 'not just about romance'

Village Church lead pastor Matt Chandler and his wife Lauren say a lot of Christians 'lack wisdom and practical know-how' when it comes to marriage, dating and sex. (Twitter/MattChandler74)

Marriage is a lot of hard work. Even couples who appear as if they have everything all figured out still struggle with constant fights and disagreements. Matt and Lauren Chandler of The Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas are one such couple.

The two work hard to make their marriage work because divorce is not an option for them, according to Charisma News.

Talking to other people from their church, the Chandlers realised that a lot of Christian couples have a "lack of wisdom and practical know-how" when it comes to dating, marriage, and sex.

To help fill the void, they wrote the book "The Mingling of Souls," where they shared 10 things that a husband and his wife must never do to one another. These are:

1. Never respond to your mate brashly.

2. Never touch your mate out of temper or frustration, ever.

3. Never seek to shame your spouse in public (or in private for that matter).

4. Never fight in front of your kids (or use them as leverage in a disagreement).

5. Never mention your spouse's parents or any other family member.

6. Never dig up the past; try to stay on topic.

7. Never try to win.

8. Never yell, use derogatory comments or verbally defame your spouse.

9. Never withhold physical intimacy or use sex to manipulate.

10. Never put off seeking resolution.

Matt believes there is such a thing as "fighting fair," and he urges couples to do it so that marital issues will eventually become non-issues.

"Why do we get married? It's not just about romance," Lauren adds. "Marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church. In a Christian marriage, you have a covenant with God and each other. That doesn't necessarily require that both of you have to have everything perfect."

Charisma News writer Polly House says the Chandler couple work hard to make their marriage work because divorce is not an option for them.

House says fighting is inevitable in every relationship, so she has a few reminders of her own. She says that yelling and screaming will not settle anything. Resorting to physical, emotional, and mental abuse is also very wrong and has no legitimate reason.

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