4 misconceptions about Christian courtship

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Courtship can be an exciting time for Christians who are ready to take the next step into a new season of their lives -- marriage.

The ultimate goal of all believers who come to the season of dating is to find the one person whom they can spend the rest of their lives with in the holy matrimony of marriage.

That's not to say that courtship will not and should not be fun and enjoyable, but it does mean that this is serious business. Entering into a relationship without the intention of discovering the possibilities of marriage can be a dangerous game to play. While courting a person is an enjoyable experience, it is also not something that should be taken too lightly.

We have responsibilities to both God and the opposite sex to undergo a courtship right and it starts with having the right mindset. While courtship can mean different things in different cultures, there are also some things that just do not mix right with courtship in any culture.

Here are four common misconceptions about Christian courtship that we must break in order to do things well.

Misconception #1. You have to be 100 percent sure

While we'd always like to get things right the first time around, often the pressure of making sure the first attempt will be with the one right away scares a lot of Christians into not stepping forward and being proactive.

Misconception #2. It's only about testing the other person out

Courtship is not only a time to see if this man or woman seems like the one God is calling you to be with. It is also the perfect opportune moment for you to test yourself, your character and your heart and see whether you are ready for marriage.

Misconception #3. No spark means no chance

I have to admit that the first time I saw my wife, I didn't see fireworks or feel butterflies in my stomach. However, as I came to know her more and spent more time getting to know her heart, dreams and being, I fell in love with her.

Now, I admit that I could never ignore the spark I see between me and my wife even after almost five years in a relationship and four years of marriage.

Misconception #4. You need the permission of your pastors

While it's good that your spiritual elders are aware of a relationship that you'd like to pursue, it is not necessary to ask pastors for a permission to enter into courtship. That doesn't mean, however, that it is not beneficial to let your pastors be aware. It would be helpful to let them know so that they can pray with you and keep you accountable for your actions.

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