You've probably heard it said many times that "a family that prays together stays together." Sadly many Christian parents are watching their children walk out of the church refusing to stay and pray with the family. What's going on? Well, admit it or not, it's probably partially your fault as parents.

According to LifeWay Research, seventy percent of high school students drop out of church when they reach high school. While two-thirds of that number usually return after high school, it still leaves us to wonder why they left in the first place and at a time most crucial as well. Ecclesiastes 12:1 tells us how essential it is to connect to Christ at an early age saying, "Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, 'I have no pleasure in them.'"

Sure they can always come back, but what wonders it would do for our youth today if they didn't have to leave. What are we as parents doing to discourage our children from staying in church? Here are four things we do to unintentionally disconnect our kids from the church, with disastrous consequences.

Living differently at home and in church

One question parents must ask themselves is "do I act differently at home and at church?" When parents are friendly, faith-filled and life-giving in church community but life-draining and fruitless at home, children can often feel betrayed by the local church for having the best of their children. Maybe it's time that parents started becoming more authentic in local church and building integrity and life in their homes.

Outsourcing discipleship to youth pastors

Discipleship starts at home. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." This was a commandment given not to the pastors and staff of the local church but to parents. While youth pastors have a role to play in discipling your children, that does not mean that you are completely free from the responsibility of doing so.

Making ministry more important than family

We've all heard it before - God first, family next, then comes work and ministry comes last, but do we really apply this? I remember having a volunteer who was sharing to me one evening about his problems at home while we were preparing for the service the next day. That moment, I knew that I had to send that volunteer home that instant and give him a one-month break to spend time with his wife and children.

Failing to process difficulties with our children

Things are not always going to be easy for your children. Even Jesus said that we would have tribulations (John 16:33), and when we fail to acknowledge or give time to the problems of our kids, we will watch them slowly question God and the importance of church. I'm not suggesting that we solve their problems for them, but your kids will always need someone to talk to about these problems and to pray with them as well.