75 Thoughts You Have At A Carol Service
Reuters
- Ahhh the annual Christmas carol service.
- It's Christmas!
- I can't believe it's Christmas already.
- I must think about buying some presents.
- But first, to celebrate with the body of Christ.
- Oh man, I forgot to invite any non-Christians.
- "It's the easiest invite of the year," they said.
- "You'll never get a better opportunity to introduce someone to the gospel!"
- Denise from down the road always invites our entire street.
- I am an evangelism failure.
- Still, after last year's débâcle I'm surprised anyone's planning to turn up this year.
- I warned them not to give out free mulled wine.
- It made for a very dramatic reading.
- Still, maybe people thought Ron was supposed to fall over at the end of it.
- His sick was an alarming colour though.
- I heard they've chosen Teetotal Terry for the reading this year.
- Wise.
- I wonder whether they'll put up those flashing reindeers again?
- Oh it looks so festive.
- Fairy lights! In the trees!
- I wonder if anyone's noticed Lawrence is still up the tree.
- Without a ladder.
- Ah well, I'm sure he'll make his own way down.
- He has been talking about Bear Grylls a lot lately.
- And he was very disappointed when there was no celebrity appearance at Alpha.
- I think it might have been the only reason he was so keen to host a table.
- Now, how to make it look like I've brought some friends?
- I'm just going to walk very closely to these people.
- They look like non-Christians.
- Ideal.
- Ah, shuffled too close.
- Got some uncomfortable looks.
- But I think I might have got away with it.
- I'd even go so far as to say I got some admiring glances.
- Take that, Denise.
- Oh no.
- Where have they gone?
- I need to sit near them.
- Got to keep up appearances.
- Ah, spotted them.
- By the mince pies.
- I really hope they've gone for ones from Waitrose.
- We'll never convince people of the Good News if all we offer them is Lidl's own.
- These look suspiciously homemade, actually.
- I do hope Maude hasn't been anywhere near these.
- Not after last time.
- I'd never tried mince pies with actual beef mince before.
- It's not an experience I'm desperate to repeat.
- Ooh, the service is starting.
- It's so dark in here.
- I'll never find those non-Chrissos.
- I'll have to just loiter near them in the pub afterwards.
- That should do it.
- Right, what carols are we doing this year?
- Oh no.
- Oh Holy Night.
- We butcher it every time.
- Always sung in a key that somehow neither man, woman nor child can reach.
- And then it's O Come All Ye Faithful.
- Looking forward to Brenda's attempt at a descant already.
- A highlight every year.
- Why is the vicar dressed as a storm-trooper?
- This is going to be another one of his off-piste sermon illustrations, isn't it?
- Oh good. A re-imagining of the nativity set in space.
- Obviously.
- I think he's been reading Relevant again.
- Oh good, the reading is next.
- Wait, why is Ron getting up?
- No, Ron. Not again.
- He looks unsteady on his feet.
- Where's Terry?
- TERRY.
- Terry's ill. Ron's stepping up to the plate.
- Ah well, it's an unorthodox tradition, but we'll take it.
- He's looking a bit green, isn't he?
