If there's one thing that often defines the life of someone working with or for the church it's passion. Passion, stemming from a sense of the need you seek to impact or flowing out of a spiritual sense of calling or ministry, is the life blood, the energising force behind why we do what we do. It is what gets us out of bed on cold winter mornings to attend early prayer meetings, keeps us going on long sleep deprived weekends of ministry and motivates us when we use our holiday time not to relax on a beach somewhere but to go on camps with youth groups, or give our time to community projects. But what happens when our passion risks driving us so hard that we forget we are human? What impact can passion have if it over-rides our basic self-preservation skills? "Fan into flame the gift of God that is in you" advises Paul (2 Timothy 1:6). But what if your passion does this so well that you're not just on fire – you're at risk of burning out?

Stress is something that is unavoidable, biologically speaking, referring as it does to the physiological adjustments your brain and body make in order to respond to challenges and changes in the world around you. Stress is real, consisting of changes in neurological stimulation, hormone levels and many other things which set you up so you are ready to react if necessary. It can be acute/short term (reacting to 'in the moment' needs and demands') or chronic/long term (reacting to pressures and demands which occur over much longer periods of time).

The problem we have with 21st century stress is that we are simply not designed to live under chronic high stress. The same physiological changes that are helpful in the short term soon start to become damaging, and can lead to emotional and mental health problems as well as increasing the risk of physical health problems like high blood pressure, type two diabetes and heart attacks.

Christians certainly aren't immune to stress. In fact, there is a very real risk that some Christians might actually be at greater risk of chronic stress, balancing as many do not just the pressures of work:life balance but many other things: ministries, volunteering and church life which they have to fit into their 'free' time. Ever got home from an exhausting day and slumped into a chair only to realise you are late for a meeting at church? Ever gone to bed worn out but set the alarm extra early for that prayer meeting the next day? Paul talked of not wanting to "skimp or trim in any way" (see Acts 20:20, from The Message) and many Christians live lives just like this, fuelled by their passion to fit in as much as they possibly can.

It isn't just the practical demands of ministry that can push us into the stress red zone. As Christians we want to push ourselves and step out of our comfort zones. The title of John Ortberg's book puts it well: "If you want to walk on water you've got to get out of the boat!" But the truth is, Peter was pretty happy in the boat. It was when he stepped out that his stress levels rose. Like him, might we, living and serving on the frontline, find that part of our ministry experience is the challenge of managing increased stress and/or anxiety? If we want to push the limits we need to be really good at how we manage stress.

The hard fact is that much as we'd all like to believe we are super human, we are not. Even Jesus – God with a human body and brain – experienced the limits of His humanity. Being on this earth for only a short period of time and in ministry for an even shorter time, we might have expected Jesus to blow out, work to the max, every hour he had while he was around. And yet we see Jesus taking time out – to rest and sleep (for example Mark 4:38), eat (Mark 6:31), to pray and connect with God (Luke 5:16) and to give him space to process his own emotional reactions (Matthew 14:10-13). Jesus at times walked away from need because of his human limitations. Do we allow ourselves to do the same?

The most common advice about how to manage stress is to avoid it. Step down, give something up, wind down the level you are pushing yourself. But is our long-term approach to life and ministry really going to be about doing less of it? Having felt called, and experiencing a God given passion for a cause or need, should we really walk away because the stress is too great?

What we need to learn is something about balance, and managing these twin pulls of our passion and our humanity. As part of our growing maturity we must learn not just spiritual wisdom but emotional wisdom. If we want to push the limits but stay sane we need to know our basic needs and make sure we meet them. We need not fear stress (research shows that those most likely to suffer negative consequences of stress are those who fear it will have such an impact on them) but we must learn how to manage and respect stress. We need to realise that the most important times in our week might not be those which are most busy or apparently productive: that times of resting, refuelling and recharging ourselves should be the things we fight to maintain even in the busiest times ("even during the ploughing season and harvest you must rest" Exodus 24:21).

As Paul advises, in life and ministry our aim should be about more than just starting well. We should aim to "finish the race, complete the task the Lord Jesus has given" (Acts 20:24). Burning out a few years into our ministry is not going to achieve this. Accepting that we have limits is not an admission of failure, it is following Jesus' excellent example for wise ministry. Building wise practices into our busy schedules in order to manage stress must be part of any wise approach to 21st century life and ministry.

Kate Middleton is a psychologist and a director of Mind and Soul – a national organisation encouraging the church to engage with mental and emotional health. Her new book Refuel: How to balance work, life, faith and church – without burning out (DLT) is out now. Follow Kate on Twitter.