Married men and women can attest to the fact that no matter how much they love their spouses, disagreements and arguments will still happen. This is due to the fact that the husband and the wife, though joined as one, are still two different people learning to grow in love for and with each other.

Some couples, however, just can't stop arguing about some things. Some keep on repeating the same old fights and disagreements, never coming to a positive conclusion.

Can you relate to this? If you can and you want to know why, let me share something with you:

It's not your spouse.

"But it surely ain't me!"

Husbands and wives through the years have always blamed each other for mistakes.

Wives can have complaints like their husbands aren't earning enough, aren't being faithful enough with their eyes and ears, aren't loving and affectionate enough, seem like they want to spend more time with the boys than the family, and so on. Their husbands call them "naggers."

Many husbands, on the other hand, complain that their wives aren't caring enough, don't respect them enough, spend more time with the girls instead, share too much information with their friends, aren't appreciative of what the husband has done, and so on. Their wives call them "unloving" and "unthoughtful."

Yes, the blame game. It has killed many marriage relationships, with all casualties and no victors. Every time the blame game happens, no one wins, but everyone loses.

Why does this happen anyway? For sure, both husbands and wives aren't perfect. Every man and woman should know that the person they marry is an imperfect person capable of hurting them and disappointing them.

While that's true, the opposite is also true: every man and woman should know that the person they marry is imperfect, yet capable of giving them love and happiness.

The Reason

So what causes such problems? Why do couples argue all the time?

It's because they haven't learned to submit to one another in love.

Ephesians 5:20-21 tells us that we should be "giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God."

Fellow husbands, only God could give you such a wonderful wife. And dear ladies, only God could give you a wonderful husband. We need to realize that.

Instead of complaining about one another, why not learn to thank God for each other including your differences?  Why not think about how God might be challenging YOU in a certain area through the things that irritate you about your spouse? 

Instead of demanding to be treated well, why not learn to put each other ahead of yourselves? And instead of arguing and fighting to gain superiority over the other, why not learn to serve and love each other with the love of Christ?

Husbands, we're all commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church. He never harmed her even when she did what hurt Him. Still, He gave Himself for her, even to death on the cross. That's very difficult to do, but we're nevertheless commanded to do so. We must continually and endlessly love our wives selflessly.

Wives, you're all commanded to submit to and respect your husbands. They may not be perfect, but they're accountable to the Lord for the treatment they give you. God will call them to account for every thought, word, and deed. It's your role, then, to love them and respect them.

A Final Thought

Friends, God loves your spouse more than you do. If you love Him, you should ask Him to help you love your spouse too. He's not just your Father - He's also your spouse's Father, too. If both of you believe in Christ, then it's just logical for you to love each other according to Christ's love for you.