Gifts that aren't things: presents for your loved ones that won't end up at the back of a cupboard

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It might be a heartwarming sight to see a pile of colourfully wrapped presents sitting snug under a twinkling Christmas tree. But post-celebrations, the resulting pile of goods can also sometimes leave us a little bit guilty, as if we don't already own enough 'stuff'. And does it sometimes feel a bit boring to give the same old socks, underpants, chocolates and smelly toiletries?

That's why it can be a blessing to give experiences rather than things for Christmas presents. There are many options that can lead to treasured memories rather than fuller cupboards.

If your loved one shares your faith, there is an added dimension that you can gift an experience that can nourish and support them in their walk with Christ. But there are also plenty of choices to simply provide a fun, educational or interesting experience too. Here are some ideas to help you decide:

Gift a retreat or a pilgrimage

Whether a short break to British pilgrimage sites such as Lindisfarne and Iona, or the more ambitious (and expensive) option to head abroad, the gift of a break to focus on their relationship with God is a real treasure.

There are lots of places that might be interesting sites to prepare a trip to, depending on your loved one's interests and inspirations. Perhaps you know that TV programmes such as the BBC's Pilgrimage or The Big Silence sparked interest, and so somewhere like Worth Abbey or a hotel in the vicinity of their favourite place might make an appropriate present.

Another idea is to centre trips around their favourite Christian hero or movement. For example, Holland's Haarlem houses the 'Corrie ten Boom House,' a museum which is the site of the 'Hiding Place' where the much-loved Christian heroine hid Jews during the Holocaust. Geneva houses the 'Museum of the Reformation' which seems a good focus of a trip for the passionately Reformed Christian in your life. And the Papal Basilica of St Francis of Assisi in Italy is an excellent way to learn more about the great saint and his inspiring life of poverty and devotion to Christ.

In practice, the gift can be as simple as booking the hotel and/or transport and presenting the receipt in an attractive card. The Retreat Association, which describes itself as "Christian ecumenical" and works with a number of UK sites, offers the option of gift vouchers.

Concert or performance

It's possible to keep to a spiritual theme when gifting performances of music and art too. If you're lucky you might have a performance of one of the great choral sacred works coming up in your local area. Although the obvious choice of Handel's Messiah is usually performed before Christmas, there are many others – even tickets for the Easter masterpieces like Bach's St Matthew Passion might be something to look forward to.

Alternatively, Christian acts might be on tour in the upcoming months. Google is as good a means as any to find local concerts, or you can search for choirs in your area.

Of course if you broaden into the secular world, there are many more options, including tickets to see their favourite band (or on a budget, a tribute act of the favourite). If you'd prefer to keep the timing close to Christmas, there are often ballets and other Christmas-themed events in the holiday period. Check the websites of your local theatres and concert halls to find out what's on.

Christian festivals and speakers

It's not cheap to go to any of the big worship events these days, so an all-inclusive package might be a nice surprise, especially if they are gifted a hotel stay rather than resorting to camping! A cheaper option might be tickets to hear or see a speaker or author who is of interest to your loved one. At a much higher price bracket, many Christians are featured on Christian cruise ship breaks, so it might be possible to gift a boat trip with the person who most inspires them.

Charity gifts

Your favourite charity will likely offer a donation packaged as a gift. For example, Christian development charity World Vision's gifts start at £6 for a warm blanket to nearly £1000 to repair a borehole. If you'd like inspiration, a much wider range is available at www.goodgifts.org, from helping people in other countries to funding allotments for the homeless.

Learning a new skill

Has your loved one uttered the words, "I've always wanted to know how to..."? You could make their dreams and buy an appropriate course, day workshop or similar event.

Most local colleges run skills courses in the evening, from learning a language to a craft, gaining cooking skills to playing a musical instrument. There are also many holiday options for people who love a particular hobby, skill or activity, from a choral break to food tasting and learning cooking skills.

Membership to historic sites

It's expensive to get into old spiritual sites in the UK these days, with entry to ruined abbeys such as Rievaulx often as much as £15 per person. Why not gift a membership to the gatekeepers like The National Trust or English Heritage, and set a goal of visiting as many pilgrimage sites together as possible in that time period? Local cathedrals also have annual memberships that allow more access, which has the added bonus of supporting their work.

Spa day

While it's very worthwhile to gift something of a spiritual or charitable nature, if your loved one has had a hard year, a spa break might be the perfect way to treat them to a well-deserved rest and show that you appreciate them. Although big luxurious spas are often very expensive, a cheaper option is sometimes the 4 star local hotels that have swimming pools, saunas and treatment rooms and sometimes offer day packages.

Adventure and sports

If your gift recipient is an adrenaline junkie, how about a day's class or workshop to take part in an unusual activity such as windsurfing, abseiling or hiking? If you're very flush you might stretch to a short break or holiday on that theme.

Your own time!

Sometimes the gift of you is the most appreciated of all. Can you spare more time for your loved one, or organise some days out together, especially if you're often busy? If money is tight this has the added option of not needing to be expensive – a simple picnic and a phone turned to silent is all that is required.

Heather Tomlinson is a freelance Christian writer. Find more of her work at https://heathertomlinson.substack.com/ or via X (twitter) @heathertomli