"If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen."

1 John 4:20

Imagine how much it would actually hurt when someone calls you a liar. There was one instance where after I had preached a message to our local congregation someone came up to me and called me a false prophet for preaching the message I had just preached. I tried to respond as compassionately and meekly as I could, but deep down it hurt.

Being considered a liar is not something that we would readily desire or accept, but the apostle John makes it clear that that's what we are when we say we are lovers and followers of God but actually still have relational strife with other people. Now it's time to come clean. I still have relational dysfunctions in many areas of my life. There are times I don't act out the love I have for my wife, that I would rather stay in my office than face pharisaical members of my church, that I could easily get into arguments with my staff and cause hurt. In that sense, yes I am a liar.

And here's something that just might hurt you, but something that I must say to speak God's truth in love - you're probably just as much a liar as I am. We all have instances where we have relational dysfunctions. Bitterness, hurt and offence seem like a staple to our broken and imperfect lives.

But that's exactly why we need to grow deeper and deeper in our relationships with Christ. James 4:8 says this: "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." The cleansing of our lying and dirty hearts and mouths comes only when we draw nearer to God. We all experience relational dysfunction yes, but the more we draw nearer and nearer to God, the more those dysfunctions are restored.

That's why it's so important for relational conflicts to always be rooted in the presence and work of Christ. Upon the cross was a restorative work that not only drew us back into a loving and reconciled relationship with God - although that is indeed the best part - but as an added bonus God also reconciles us to others by transforming our hearts.

Just as God says in Ezekiel 36:26, "And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." God longs to take our hearts hardened by bitterness, hate and fear of rejection and replace them with hearts of flesh that will long for reconciliation of relationships.

When the Spirit of God comes, it reconciles us with God and also with fellow believers and even with the world so that we can be a light that shines and shows the love of Christ through our deeds and actions.