If I'm Not Able To Have Children, Does That Mean I'm Less Blessed?
Married couples without kids often long to have children of their own. Husbands and wives long to have that daughter or son whom they can take care of, teach, and train in the ways of God.
But what if the husband or wife is unable to have children? Does that mean that they're less blessed compared to those who have kids of their own?
Let's talk about that.
An Obvious, Tangible Blessing
The Bible says that children are a blessing from the Lord. We find a beautiful declaration about children in Psalm 127:3-5, which says:
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate."
We see that in Bible times, particularly in the Old Testament, children are considered blessings from God. Those who don't have children of their own, on the other hand, consider themselves "less blessed" because of their "barrenness" or inability to have children.
Abraham and Sarah were of the latter before God gave Isaac to them. Abram and Sarai were pretty old when God called them out of Abram's land. They were beyond their sixties when God promised to give them a child.
Abraham and Sarah, the names God gave them after He promised Isaac to them, faced such inner loneliness with not having a child. Abraham worried about his possible heir. Sarah became envious of her maid who had a son.
Perhaps, many Christian couples without kids feel the same way: they long for a child of their own, think about who will inherit or receive what they will leave in the future, and might even be envious of other parents around them. This is pretty common.
Why? It's because we believe that children are a blessing from God. They are tangible, visible proofs of God's love.
A Blessing In Disguise
If biological kids are a blessing from the Lord, then does it mean that if couples aren't blessed with them, they are blessed less? If they are in Christ, the answer is a big "NO."
I know of a couple who, after being married for decades, still don't have children of their own. They are very active in serving the Lord, however, and in time they realized that they have many "spiritual children" - people they consider sons and daughters in the faith.
This couple is very active in teaching men and women, young and old, about the ways of God. I heard the man say at one time, "God may not have given us biological children, but my wife and I, we have many spiritual children."
Somehow, because they were free to focus on their marriage, their careers and their ministry, they were able to "give birth" to children in the faith. Of course, they longed to have kids of their own, but because they trusted God they were able to focus on what they were enabled to do, not focus on what wasn't given to them. And in that way, they never felt deprived.
Consider Jesus
Friends, I would also say we shouldn't choose not to have children if we can reasonably have them (we're in the position healthwise, financially etc), as I believe God did command us to go and multiply and that it is His will for married couples to have children.
Also, I am not saying that we're less blessed when we don't have kids of our own. God is able to close and open the womb.
If we are in Christ, however, we are already blessed with all the spiritual blessings. We are already blessed beyond our imagination. With child or not, we are blessed in Christ! Ephesians 1:3 tells us,
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ..."
What I do want to say in conclusion, however, is that what matters is that we follow Christ our Lord no matter what happens. Don't consider yourself less blessed if you don't have children.
You are blessed in Christ, and with God, nothing is impossible. You might have children, biological and/or spiritual, someday. Just keep praying and let God lead your life how He sees fit.