There's a great deal of activity in the nativity story. Mary and Joseph travelling to Bethlehem, angels appearing on the hillside, shepherds rushing to find the Saviour. Later, wise men arrive, bearing gifts for the new-born king.

Yet, in the midst of this bustle sits Jesus's mother, Mary. And she, we're told, says nothing, but "treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

It's Mary I had in my thoughts as we prepared, at church, for our 'Quiet Christmas' services – services we hold especially for those who would prefer to avoid the noisy celebration of Christmas.

For some, Christmas can be a difficult time of memories, and of loss. So increasingly churches in the UK, US and other countries are recognising this by holding 'Blue Christmas' services for those who may be mourning.

The Church of England's online service on Sunday 11 December, led by the Archbishop of York Stephen Cottrell, took bereavement as a theme.

But it's not just the bereaved that may like somewhere quieter to celebrate the season, if our local church experience is shared by others.

Last year in our 'Quiet Christmas' service, we invited worshippers to light candles to remember those they had lost, or as a prayer for whatever might be on their mind.

Our local BBC radio station sent a reporter to cover the service, and gained a range of positive comments from people attending. Several spoke of appreciating the quiet, reflective space in the midst of the Christmas 'busyness.'

This year, we are inviting those attending our two 'Quiet Christmas' services to write a prayer on a paper decoration and place it on a Christmas tree.

We suggest this could be a prayer of hope for an anxiety that they carry, or a prayer of remembrance, with Christmas bringing to the fore feelings of loss. As we invite people to come forward, we remind them that, "As we place the decorations on the tree, we remember that God knows each one of us and hears our prayers."

The Church of England has published helpful advice for churches considering holding a 'Blue Christmas' service or similar. Its introduction reads: "From the middle of November, shops, media and advertising collude to convince us that Christmas is magical, full of joy and fulfilment. Cares are banished and laughing children reinforce the message that sadness and anxiety have no place in the festivities.

"But what if bereavement means that sorrow is the overwhelming emotion felt at Christmas? How do you observe it then?"

This welcome development of special Christmas services for those who are bereaved, or who carry extra burdens at this time of year, brings for me a focus on Mary's silent thoughts.

Like precious jewels, she treasures her new-born son, the wonderful events that she is hearing of, involving angels and proclamation, and the words that are being said about Jesus.

For Mary, this was a time to be quiet, to reflect on what was happening, and on what she was hearing. To ponder the amazing blessing she had received – but also the tremendous responsibility that she and Joseph were now bearing. What, she was perhaps wondering, would happen to the baby she held in her arms?

Some of our classic carols capture this idea of silence. Silent Night, of course, but also – my personal favourite – O Little Town of Bethlehem.

How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is given.
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessing of his heaven.

Sometimes in the face of events, of things that happen to us, or happen to those we love, it's right to be busy ... to get things done in response; to make things happen. But often, maybe it's right just to be silent, to reflect, and to commit ourselves afresh to our loving heavenly father.

Let's bring before God how we are approaching this Christmas – the good and perhaps the not so good memories that it stirs, the concerns that may be on our hearts, and how we each find ourselves this Christmas.

Special, quieter, services at this time of year can give many people the chance to reflect and bring their grief, their worries and concerns to Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us, and to receive his love.

Rev Peter Crumpler is a Church of England minister in St Albans, Herts, UK.