John Piper on marriage: husbands are heads, not idols

Desiring God website

The subject of submission in the Bible, especially in terms of the relationship of a husband and a wife, needs some clarification, according to John Piper.

In his post on the Desiring God website, Baptist pastor John Piper explored the Scripture: 1 Peter 3:1–6 which deals with the roles of wives and mothers.

Piper cautioned those who read the Bible to ask questions and analyze what the verses are and are not saying to make sure that it is being interpreted in the right way. 

"What is submission? The divine calling of a wife to joyfully and fearlessly honor and affirm her husband's leadership, and to help carry it through according to her gifts," he said.

He also clarified that it is definitely not agreeing with the husband on all important matters, that marriage for a woman does not mean leaving the brain at the altar or avoiding the effort to make changes for the husband.

He also reminded women not to put their husband's will above God and urged them not to rely entirely on the husband for spiritual strength.

In addition to this, he stressed that submission should not mean that one party acts in fear of the other, and he cautioned wives against making an idol out of their husbands.

The long time pastor said that the purpose of the Bible verse is not to show that one party is stronger than the other, but rather to "magnify God's superior worth by hoping in him, through Jesus Christ, as more precious and more resourceful than her husband, and by showing that this hope results in a life that is more husband-honoring, and husband-winning than if he were the idol he would like to be."