Loving our kids the Christian way: Don't be a parent who misses the point - and the person

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I was listening to a podcast preaching over the weekend in which a pastor shared about an accident at home that involved his son, a glass of water and a laptop. I think you know what happens next. His son had spilled a glass of water all over the laptop and destroyed it.

After attempting to "revive" the laptop to no avail, the pastor said nothing and was just silent as his son endlessly kept apologising. Later on when the pastor had calmed down, he confronted his son assuring him that things were ok. He asked his son, "You know that you're more important than my laptop right?"

To the pastor's shock, his son shook his head. It was such an emotional revelation that got me thinking about me and my daughter. I think about the number of times that I may have made my daughter feel that some things mattered more to me than her through my actions at home - gadgets, work, my own reputation, ministry and other things.

It broke my heart to think of such a situation and I just had to get on my knees and repent to God for being a father that missed the point. I also then asked for forgiveness from my daughter too.

Matthew 6:21 tells us, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Understanding values and priorities are crucial because they affect the way we treat people and how we make them feel. This couldn't be more true than for parents. Leonard Sweet in his book, "What Matters Most: How We Got the Point but Missed the Person," shares a story of how his daughter once wrote a short story that indirectly implied just how busy her parents were that they would fail to make time for her because of their work. This is something that most if not all parents are guilty of.

Often in our own blindness or busyness, we do things thinking that we're in the right only to find that we have been sincerely wrong from the beginning. Our values are the most impactful factor in our homes and what we value and how they align together will manifest in our actions.

I love how Psalm 139:23 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!" This is a prayer that all parents must have so that the Holy Spirit will work in us and show us what really matters to us and whether we have our values in the right place.

What matters to us as parents and how we line them up in our priority list greatly affects not just us but even the people around us, including our family members. We must always be on guard and check our hearts whether our values are in line with what God values and whether the way we value them positively impacts our relationships and our daily living.