Let's face it – we don't always feel like going to church, and there even times when, for good reasons, we just can't face it.

I come from a tradition where weekly attendance is assumed. You're there unless you have a very, very good reason for not being. And Christians ought to go to church. Hebrews 10:25 warns about 'not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another'. The picture of the Church in the early chapters of Acts is of people who gladly meet for worship and fellowship. And in churches that have firm membership policies, there's an added expectation – you sign up to be committed to that church, and part of that commitment is that you go.

The expectation of attendance is a good one. That Sunday morning habit gets us out of bed or away from the garden and into church. A couple of hours is not much to give to God, and we usually feel better for it and are glad we've gone. We don't always know what's best for us, either: sometimes we might feel we're too busy, or family life is too chaotic, but when we've made the effort we find it's been worth it. When that habit's broken it's easy to slip into going less frequently, until attendance becomes a rarity. Gradually the connections with that fellowship are broken until we no longer belong. It's far better to discipline ourselves and go, even if it means putting up with the negatives – when the people irritate us, the music's uninspiring or the sermon's dull. So what? That's church life, and we love it anyway.

But: we're not under law, but under grace. And one of the problems with the expectation that we'll attend every week, without fail, is that it becomes a burden rather than a joy. Ministers, let's confess that we have a vested interest in encouraging this, too: that terrific sermon we've laboured over for hours just seems to work better if the church is full.

So let's be brave enough to admit it: sometimes, it's OK not to go.

1. There are times when facing people is just beyond us. Perhaps we've had bad news, and no matter how well-intentioned people might be, their care and concern is too much.

2. There are times when we're just too mentally tired. Some of us are so involved in the life of the church that it's not a place to rest and recharge, but just another burden.

3. There are times when we get stale. Perhaps worship is routine and itfeels as though we've heard all the sermons before. A morning with a different congregation – or doing something different – might be a blessing to us.

4. And there might be times when we want to respond to a sudden urge to be out in the country or visiting friends or family. Perhaps it's a selfish reluctance to do what we ought – but perhaps it's God calling us to minister to our own needs, or to the needs of others. We can't assume he'll always put church attendance first.

Church is good, and going to church is a good and godly habit. But it's easy to fall into a legalism that says, 'This is what I must do.' No: It's what you may do, it's a gift that God has given. It's a good gift, but he gives other good gifts too – and we shouldn't condemn ourselves if we receive them as well.

Follow Mark Woods on Twitter: @RevMarkWoods