With emotional health so often in the news, we're all becoming more aware. But what about in the church? Here are the 10 most common myths we still need to correct – heard any of these in your church?

1. You are the only person in this church to have struggled like this

Be encouraged. Many more people than you would think have experienced mental health problems. Those apparently perfect, together people you know? Several of them will have experienced low times, or struggled emotionally. This is why we need to talk more about our mental health, to bring it out into the open and fight back against the isolation it can bring on people who are unwell.

2. The ideal is to experience as few emotions as possible

Emotions are not always convenient or pleasant. Time and time again science fiction presents beings who do not experience emotions as the most rational or dependable. But our emotions are at the core of the way our brains were designed to work. Emotional health is not the absence of negative emotions. Instead it is about learning to understand, manage, process and express emotions better, so we don't feel at the mercy of emotions which are overwhelming, frightening or out of control.

3. Some (negative) emotions are bad and/or sinful

Sometimes we need to remember that we have an excellent model for how to manage human emotions: Jesus - God himself inhabiting the brain and body He designed. Jesus was without sin, but he experienced a range of emotions including anger (Mark 3:5, 11:17) indignation (Mark 10:14) grief (Luke 19:41, John 11:35) anxiety/worry (John 13:21) and sorrow (Matthew 26:38). However while emotions aren't sinful, the actions they can sometimes lead us into might be (Ephesians 4:6). Instead of condemning our own or other people's emotions we can learn a great deal from Jesus' acceptance of his own, and how he managed them.

4. Mental or emotional ill health often stems from sins we have committed

Just like our physical health, many of the things which influence or trigger problems with our mental health are things we cannot control. Life throws many challenges at us and some (grief, trauma etc.) trigger powerful emotions which can contribute to mental ill health even years later.

Having said this, sometimes we do things which either don't help or make things worse. Our lifestyle or actions can make both physical and mental health problems worse, or even contribute to triggering them. But to simply condemn the behaviour as 'sinful' will only push a sufferer deeper into their illness. Instead we must support people who are struggling with genuine empathy and wisdom, accompanying them on their journey with God and give them space to change their beliefs and thinking before we put pressure on them to transform their behaviour.

5. Mental health problems are often demonic

This belief stems from times in Jesus' ministry when His response to people exhibiting certain symptoms was to pray or 'cast out' demons. But to extend this and then assume that all difficult emotions have demonic roots is very wrong. After all, Jesus himself, without sin, experienced emotions. He did not try to cast demons out of himself when he cried, or felt angry. Human life is complex, and just like physical ill health, mental ill health can have many causes. Any subset of mental health problems which are related to demonic influence is likely to be very small, and in a culture where so many people struggle at some time emotionally, the vast majority will have no demonic link at all.

6. If you have enough faith you will not experience mental health problems

This simply isn't true. In fact if you look in the Bible you can see what nonsense it is. Take the example of Elijah. This fantastic, awesome man – a real warrior for God – pulled off an amazing victory over King Ahab and the many prophets of Baal. He was the only prophet of God left and his faith was so strong that he was able to call fire down from heaven in front of them, and to keep his nerve through all their own whooping and intimidating theatrics. But he was human too and after this, when his life was threatened, he hit a spell of mental ill health that threatened his whole ministry - when he was overcome with suicidal thoughts (1 Kings 18 and 19).

There are so many amazing things about this story, but one is that God never condemns him for how he is feeling. There is no 'get a grip' lecture, no suggestion that his faith is too weak, no reminder that he should be 'full of joy'. Instead there is only compassion and great understanding for the physical and emotional exhaustion he is going through. If you are experiencing depression or any kind of mental health problem today, remember it doesn't have any reflection on the way God sees you. You are probably much harder on yourself than God would ever be. He does not condemn you – so don't condemn yourself.

7. The best treatment for mental health problems is prayer

Prayer is great, and people struggling emotionally can benefit hugely from it. However, the best treatment for mental health problems is whatever is recommended by a competent, skilled clinician. No matter how good our treatment, our ultimate hope is in God. But if someone had a broken leg, or an infection, we wouldn't suggest that they just went for prayer, and we need to recognise that mental health is the same. Prayer is is not a treatment on its own and we must always make sure people have sought good, reliable medical advice.

At the same time we need to recognise that recovery from mental health problems is usually a journey, not a one-off result of prayer. Remember that you are in charge of your emotions. Recovery is about a partnership between the person suffering and God. It takes time and often includes periods of therapy or drug treatment. Many people have moments of inspiration, revelation, miraculous changes in something related to their struggles as a result of prayer, but we must not put pressure on people to 'be healed' instantly, and instead to support and walk with them in what God is doing in their life over a period of time.

8. If you have mental health problems you cannot or should not be in any kind of leadership in the church

Mental health is a part of being human. This means we could all hit times when we struggle. If we excluded from leadership everyone who ever had or might have mental health problems, there would be no one left! We need to be very careful of a temptation to depict our leaders as different from 'normal' humans. Leaders are not perfect, nor are they immune from the pressures of life. The ultimate model for leadership in Jesus is someone who experienced emotions and even cried in front of the people he was leading (John 11:35).

Certainly there may be times when leaders might benefit from some time out to process their emotions, deal with difficulties or simply rest after difficult or stressful times. In Matthew 14, news comes to Jesus of the death of John the Baptist. His immediate response is to withdraw and to seek private time to deal with his own emotions. We need to recognise that none of us are superhuman and that we might sometimes need the same – but this certainly isn't a reason to stop anyone with mental health problems from being in a leadership position.

9. Christians should not have mental health problems because they should be full of joy and worship no matter what life throws at them

This again is something that many Christians struggling emotionally will have heard. Certainly the ability to 'be content whatever the circumstances' (Philippians 4:11) is at the centre of emotional maturity. In fact The Message even translates this verse as 'the secret to being happy'. But this doesn't mean never experiencing difficult emotions. Instead it points towards a life built on the secure foundation God can offer us, suggesting a way to process and deal with the difficult times and emotions. No amount of faith or worship can promise us a life free of difficult emotions. The Bible promises that one day there will be a time when there will be no mourning, crying or pain (Revelation 21:4) – but that time is not now.

10. The Church is a mass of stigma and misunderstanding about mental health

Some churches still have a long way to go, but be encouraged. The Church has taken massive steps in not just understanding emotional and mental health but working to promote great emotional health and to support those going through tough times.

Mind &Soul is a national organisation encouraging the church to engage with matters of mental and emotional health. On October 10 (World Mental Health day), in conjunction with Livability, it will be holding The Big Mental Health day at St Paul's Hammersmith in London – a chance for people from all kinds of church backgrounds to gather, learn more about mental and emotional health and get better equipped to support people struggling. Why not join us there?

Also launched on October 10 will be phase two of the Mental Health Access Pack – a source of free, printable information about common mental health problems and some extra thoughts on specific issues and theology relevant to the Church.

Kate Middleton is a psychologist and a director of Mind and Soul – a national organisation encouraging the church to engage with mental and emotional health. Follow Kate on Twitter.