It's a 30-second teaser, leaked to the Internet from the upcoming Blu-Ray release of the original film, but that hasn't stopped the Internet exploding in speculation about the second Fifty Shades film. Fifty Shades Darker, which isn't even released until 2017 and is currently without a director, will deliver the second part of EL James' dubious trilogy of sex-themed novels to the big screen. Fifty Shades Director Sam Taylor-Johnson won't be returning, mainly thanks to her high-profile spats with James, whose husband is penning the screenplay.

Signed up to return are the two principals, Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson, who were said to have developed an ironically frosty relationship during the filming of the first movie. The pain of their reunion will be eased by huge pay increases on the modest $250,000 they reportedly each received for film #1.

The teaser trailer contains precious little information, but that's not going to stop us - and the rest of the world - from reading plenty into it. And don't worry. It's quite safe for work...

1. Fifty Shades is back, and will be even more hyped than ever

The fact that a leaked teaser featuring a man putting on a jacket and a mask is making global news is a fair indicator that interest in the franchise has in no way waned. Aside from some plinky-plonky piano and an over-enthusaistic use of the fade-to-black transition, there's not a lot more to say about it; but before that sounds too hypocritical, it's a fascinating point in itself. The world remains utterly enthralled by the Fifty Shades phenomenon, which, without its feminist director on board and now firmly in the control of EL James herself, may fail to contain the balance of the first film which caused me to cautiously defend it.

2. It's going to get darker, and that's not ok

Referring to the source material now – if Fifty Shades of Grey just about passed the morality test on the basis of its final judgement on dominant gazillioinare Christian Grey, the argument falls apart once we get to the sequel. Having left, Ana realises she just can't live without the moody misogynist, and sets about trying to redeem him. 'Are you ready for something darker?' the tagline asks, and those of us who worry about the messages transmitted in culture about healthy relationships and sexuality are probably right to concerned as a result.

3. Christian Grey IS Batman

Did you see that mask? Surely it can only mean one thing - that, as announced by DC Comics just this week, a new character is going to take the mantle of the caped crusader from Bruce Wayne. Alright, maybe not, although Hollywood IS really going for it at the moment with the crossover films. And wouldn't it just be amazing if they took the films in a completely different direction to the awful books?

Sadly, something tells us that's not going to happen.