Why did Jesus entrust Mary to John on the cross and what can we learn from that?
We read in John 19 one of the most revealing accounts about what Christ is like. This account, found in John 19:25-27, tells us that the Lord Jesus entrusted His earthly mother, Mary, into the care of John, His disciple. Why did He do that, and what can we learn from this act?
A wrong perspective
Many Christians, in an overzealous attempt to refute false beliefs regarding Mary's identity, falsely claim that Christ did not really care for her. They say that this is evident in the way He called her "woman."
In John 2, for example, we read the story of the wedding in Cana of Galilee. Jesus didn't have any public ministry at this time. Mary, however, wanted Him to do something for the newlyweds. In response, "Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come."" (see John 2:4)
Such Christians make the mistake of attributing such a disrespectful attitude to Christ. If Christ dishonored Mary, how could He be sinless? He said He came to fulfill the law, and the law includes Exodus 20:12, which says:
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you."
The Bible plainly tells us that Mary is but a normal human with no divine backgrounds. She is not a god, but a mere vessel through whom Jesus was born. Jesus, however, did not dishonor or disrespect her.
The right perspective
Now that we've got that covered, let's proceed to John 19:26, where we find Jesus leaving Mary to John:
"When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, "Woman, behold your son!""
Commentaries say that the word "woman" in the passage was not a term that carried disrespect. It actually was a word that carried a sense of respect, honor, and endearment. Matthew Henry even goes to say that the Lord had a better, more caring reason in using the word to refer to His mother:
"He calls her woman, not mother, not out of any disrespect to her, but because mother would have been a cutting word to her who was already wounded with grief."
Here, the Lord Jesus is revealed to be a very thoughtful and caring Son who, even while in deadly pain, was able to think of His own mom's welfare. Scholars believe that Joseph was already dead by this time, which would have - according to the standards of the day - made Jesus the breadwinner of the family. His death would mean leaving His earthly mother alone and without provision.
Jesus, caring and compassionate as He is, would leave Mary into the care of John, the disciple whom He loved. Such an act showed that He cared for Mary, and trusted in John, whom He loved as well.
What can we learn from this?
Here are a few things we can learn from this account:
1) That Jesus cared for family
Jesus' very words and actions revealed that was not a Man who totally abandoned His family for the sake of ministry. He went about His earthly ministry, but even until the point of dying on the cross He cared for the welfare of His family.
This should teach any and every Christian not to abandon their families for the sake of achieving something, being active in ministry, or whatever perceived important thing there is. Our families are our first ministries.
2) That He was totally selfless, even to the point of death
Christ the Lord kept thinking about others, even at a time when it would be understandable for Him to just focus on fighting the pain He feels. He kept thinking about others, even at the point of death.
We as His followers ought to do the same. We are called to deny ourselves and follow Christ with our crosses on our backs or shoulders (see Matthew 16:24). We ought to do that.
3) That He gives us various assignments according to our relationship with Him
Think about it: Since John was the only one who was there with Christ as He hung on the cross, he was the one to whom much trust was given - Mary was entrusted to him.
This reminds us of Luke 16:10, which says:
"He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much."
The more we grow in faith, become intimate with God, and grow more trustworthy in His sight, the more we will receive assignments from Him. We should also keep Matthew 13:12 in mind:
"For whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him."