It's always a good thing for Christian wives to remember that when God made Eve, He made her with the intention of giving Adam the perfect partner. No matter their differences, they were meant to be together, love each other, and help one another pursue the will of the Lord.
That said, all wives must realize by now that their husbands will always be different from them. There will always be differences is habits, ideas, and even priorities - things that married couples usually argue or fight about. These differences are normal and should be embraced, because God wants a couple's diversity to work for His intended purposes.
A great position
Wives looking to help their husbands become as Christ-like as can be should know that they aren't like Christ. While their husbands are (hopefully) making their way towards Christ-likeness, they can be of great help. All they need to do is to pray for their husbands, support them and encourage them to keep going.
In this article, we'll talk about one way wives can do that better: by knowing their husbands. I am writing in behalf of all married men who long for their wives to encourage them.
Know your husbands
Dear sisters, you're in the best position to help us, your respective husbands, pursue Christ. You're also at risk of discouraging us the most, if you don't know how to spur us to love Jesus. Knowing us well will help you encourage us better.
Here are a few things you'll need to know about us husbands.
1) We long to hear you encourage us, not remind us of our faults
Ladies, the Bible tells us that we should not keep a record of wrongs (see 1 Corinthians 13:5). Rather, we should spur one another to love and encourage one another to pursue Christ (see Hebrews 10:23-24; Philippians 3:14).
That said, it would be good for you to encourage your husband to do what is right in the sight of God. You should do this, however, in a way that encourage, not discourages.
Proverbs 17:9 tells us that "He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends." If your intention is to encourage us to change our ways and pursue Christ, you can't do that by reminding us of our sins again and again.
Instead of focusing on our mistakes, errors, and sin, you've got to focus on the good things that are ahead of us, the things that we should pursue. Do this, and we'll be encouraged to grow in ways you've never imagined.
2) We long to be given room for error and improvement
Ladies, husbands need room for error and improvement. This means you've got to exercise patience in holding your tongue from making quick comments, from making insulting remarks, and from pointing out our errors like we've committed a mistake that can never ever be forgiven, ever.
Many of us won't admit it, but we know and understand that we're not perfect. We try to do our best in many things, especially to amaze our respective wives, but we're not perfect. We will make mistakes.
3) We long to be understood and respected for our uniqueness
Ladies, this is the most important thing: all of us want to be understood and respected for who we are.
We're different from you, totally. We have habits that you won't like, attitudes that won't automatically jive with yours, ideas that can seem out of this world to you, even eating habits that aren't exactly similar to yours. We want our wives to understand that.
Our priorities may not be the same with yours, but know that we are prioritizing you. How we see things differ from the way you see things. Our perspectives, personality, likes and dislikes aren't the same.
Nevertheless, we love you, respect you, and appreciate you, even treasure and cherish you, for who you are.
We hope you'd do the same to us, too.
