Rick Warren recalls son's suicide: 'He cannot come back to me, but one day I will go to him'

Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church recalled the painful ordeal of his son's suicide during the NRB Convention ''Proclaim 16'' that was held in Nashville, Tennessee from Feb. 23 to 26, 2016.

Warren said even though the early years of his marriage with wife Kay was extremely difficult, nothing could have prepared them for the day when their 27-year-old son decided to take his own life after a lengthy battle with depression and mental illness.

Kay and Rick Warren of Saddleback Church. (Saddleback Church)

"He came to me one day with tears in his eyes and said, 'Dad it's pretty clear the Lord isn't going to heal me.' Every day, his brain said, 'Die,'" Warren said, according to the Gospel Herald. "Your illness is not your identity, and your chemistry is not your character."

It was because of God and the Warren family's strong support system that they were able to heal after Matthew's suicide. Warren shared that they received countless letters of support, but the ones that truly touched their hearts were not from "kings and ambassadors and presidents," but from those whom Matthew led to Jesus Christ.

Warren wrote in his journal back then, "In God's garden of grace, every broken tree bears fruit." He added that "pain can obscure God's promises, but it can't nullify them."

Now, Warren finds comfort in the promise God gave to David when his infant son died.

"I can't bring him back to life," Warren said of David's words in 2 Samuel 12:23. "He cannot come back to me, but one day I will go to him."

If his son's death proved anything, said Warren, it's the fact that the "greatest ministry comes not out of your strength but your weakness."

"We minister to people out of our weaknesses, not our strengths," he explained. "Base your ministry not on your talent; base your ministry not on your abilities, not on your cleverness, not on your giftedness. Base your ministry on the promises of God."

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