The chapter on love in Paul's letter to the Corinthians is one of the most cited biblical descriptors of love and it's a popular choice at weddings as it puts into words love's many attributes. Interestingly, perfect isn't one of them, yet so many of us fall into the trap of thinking that love should be just that - perfect.
Love isn't about perfection. In fact, one of the best ways to measure love in any relationship is by how both parties react to each other's imperfections. As Christians we are called to demonstrate our love for one another through our ability to forgive but it can be even harder to exercise forgiveness if we pursue perfection in our relationships.
Here are three reasons why we should avoid demanding perfection in our relationships.
It's unrealistic As inviting as the relationship goals and squad goals hashtags may be, like so many representations on social media, they're unattainable and they only show us one side of the story. The highlights of other people's unions, be it marriage, friendship or family, can skew our outlook of what form healthy relationships should take. It can be helpful to identify areas for improvement but we should be wary of constantly comparing our own situation to what is essentially fantasy.
It can ruin them We'd all readily agree that no one is perfect but our behaviour towards our partners and our friends can sometimes suggest otherwise. We have higher expectations for the people that we love and are close to than we do for everyone else, and while this is completely natural, demanding the impossible is always going to leave us disappointed.
Although love should be patient, we can grow tired of waiting for someone to fulfil our expectations but it's important to make sure that these are actually reasonable in the first place.
It can damage our loved one's confidence, and our own While it's advisable to maintain standards on how we treat others and expect to be treated, no one is going to be able to comply with our principles if they're unachievable. When someone falls short of the bar because we've set it impossibly high, they can end up questioning their worth and asking themselves if we really love them as much as we say we do. Equally, they can end up feeling as though nothing they ever do is good enough, unaware that their inability to meet our requirements isn't to do with their own inadequacies but rather our impossible demands.
