Woman 'Angry at God' Finds Hope and Healing in Jesus After 9 Suicide Attempts

 (Pixabay)

It's a myth that cats have nine lives. But having survived nine suicide attempts is no myth for a woman named Shannon Palmer.

"They were surprised that I lived," Shannon said, according to God Reports.

Things started to go bad for her when her father left his family when she was seven years old.

Her father's departure badly affected her since she was her daddy's girl. As a result, she developed obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Before she was diagnosed as having a "bipolar" disorder, she didn't understand some of her behavior. "My family got so frustrated with me. They said they felt like they were walking on egg shells around me," Shannon said.

She said because of her condition she "was angry at God for a very long time," adding that, "I was one of those ones who felt like I had to be re-saved over and over and over to be forgiven. God didn't become real for me until three years ago."

She made her first attempt at taking her own life at the age of 17 when she stuffed a huge load of pills into her mouth and swallowed them. She did it because she blamed herself for what happened to her mom and their family. She also felt pressured unfairly by her family who were irritated by her psychological disorder.

Her family rushed her to the nearest hospital where she was given psychiatric drugs to calm her down and put her to sleep.

She tried to commit suicide eight more times as she could not shake off her depression.

One of her attempts to kill herself happened in Juneau, Alaska, the place she moved into to distance herself from her family.

After taking an entire bottle of extra strength Tylenol, she was rushed to the nearest hospital where doctors thought she would not make it.

When she woke up, the nurse told her she had liver failure.

She became even more desperate. "I prayed to Jesus, 'Please take me. I want to be with you.' I just wanted it to be over," she said.

But God answered her prayer by doing the opposite of what she wanted: God healed her.

She attempted suicide seven more times.

Finally, she was able to turn her life around in 2014 when she attended a Good Friday service at a church. Deeply touched by the message delivered by the pastor, she became emotional and started crying.

"On the way home, I was thanking God for sending Jesus. He loved us so much to forgive us," she said, crying.

"It was the first time I told Him that I loved Him. Even though I had gone to church, I was always angry with Him. But that day was the major life change. I finally realised that I was Shannon. Before that I was 'bi-polar.' I became me, happy."

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