Another day, another story of violence between US police and public. Of late this has taken the form of angry crowds in Ferguson, Missouri, and nationwide "I can't breathe" protests after the chokehold death of Eric Garner. The latest brutal killing of two New York police officers as they sat in a patrol car bears the marks of a seriously deranged obsessional killer, who turned the gun on his girlfriend and himself the same day. But this incident has brought to the surface deep division between police and the Mayor of New York, and marked the culmination of a disturbing year in the world of US criminal justice.

the military learned years ago in trouble zones all over the world, wars are won in the hearts and minds of people, not on the streets. Policing in a democracy can only be carried out by consent, and with strong community links.

Three relatives of one of the murdered officers, Rafael Ramos, have put their loved one's killing in a deeper perspective.

Ramos' aunt, Lucy Ramos, has tried to calm tempers and help rebuild some kind of community confidence. She has expressed support for Mayor de Blasio's reforms, acknowledging their unpopularity with officers, hoping people will "reflect on what has happened in order to be able to move forward and find an amicable path to a peaceful coexistence."

Ramos' 13 year-old son Jaden has expressed the biggest dimension of the underlying issue in a Facebook message following his father's death: "Everyone says they hate cops but they are the people that they call for help."

Finally, and most poignantly, Richard Gonzales, Ramos' first cousin, has spoken of what happened in terms reminiscent of Gordon Wilson's words after his daughter's killing in Enniskillen in 1987: "I bear no ill will. I bear no grudge."

It is an extraordinary testimony to the power of faith in even the worst of times that Richard could say of the killer "We don't blame him. We forgive him. The Ramos family forgives him because God forgave us, and I know if Rafael was here and it was the opposite, he would say the same words — he forgave him."

This horrible incident yields hard material for contemplation at Christmas, usually the most pink and fluffy of Christian festivals. An all-too-human incident indicates the price of duty and indicates that communities are broken, but offers the opportunity for forgiveness and hope.

Rt Rev Dr Alan Wilson is the Bishop of Buckingham in the diocese of Oxford.