As a local church pastor, I've recently conducted my 47th funeral. It's a privilege to be in a role that gives me the opportunity to be pastorally present with people who either journey though death, or with families as they traverse the wide array of emotions that grief opens up.

Sometimes death is welcomed as it's the end of a journey of suffering, both for the person who has died and for their family and supporters. Sometimes death is an unwelcome imposter, the suddenness of death or the shock of unanticipated tragedy awakens deep feelings of grief and loss that highlight the fragility of life.

Each funeral is different, each person approaches death differently, and each time it brings me to a place of deep thought and reflection.

We don't talk about it enough

Most of us don't want to talk about death, even though it's one of the three things that are guaranteed to all of us in life, the other two being taxes and change. Given that it's unavoidable and that we're all going to face it one way or another, there's no point in avoiding discussing it. But that is what happens.

What I wonder is if we could reframe the conversation about death, not so much focussing on the specifics, or fears that death brings, but focussing instead more on what we want our legacy to be posthumously - what do we want to be remembered for in the generation or two that will remember us before we become just a name on the historical family tree. Realistically, that is what the majority of us will be in due course, I'm just owning it!

I believe that thinking more specifically about what we want our legacy to be might just help us live more fully in the time that has been set for our lives, which the Old Testament book of Job says has been predetermined. Job chapter 14, verse 5 says, "A person's days are determined; you [God] have decreed the number of their months and have set limits he cannot exceed."

Legacy determines life

If you had the time to search for the best quotes about leaving a legacy (don't worry, I've done that for you), one thing is abundantly clear: the vast majority of the great philosophers and thinkers don't talk about leaving a financial legacy, they talk about leaving a legacy firmly grounded in character.

The paradox of the wisdom of the ages though is that so much of our Western culture is centred around striving to leave a legacy that involves assets and/or money. My experience in leading funerals, though, confirms that those things are seldom mentioned as being of any real value.

What is remembered and what is spoken about at funerals are character attributes, things like:

● Love: how loved the person is, or how loving they were.

● Family: the role/s someone played in their family, and how that family will never be quite the same without them.

● Character: who the person was, what they were passionate about and how they contributed to and affected the lives of those around them.

Achievements are mentioned as part of a bigger story, but they pale in significance to the personal attributes of the person who has passed away.

Paul's legacy

In the letter that the Apostle Paul wrote to the early church in the city of Philippi, he says, "What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me - practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you" (Philippians chapter 4, verse 9). 

Paul is encouraging the people in this church to build a legacy in their own lives off the back of what they have seen in his life, a legacy of character that draws people toward seeing God at work in his life.

While we know that Paul was a tentmaker by trade, that's not the legacy he encouraged people to remember him by. His legacy was the transformative power of God to change lives that he wanted people to look toward. As he said in the previous verse (verse 8), "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

Paul's point? Allow the greatest story ever told to be in the centre of your thoughts, and both this life, and the continuing story in eternity, will be a legacy worth seeing and celebrating.

Your legacy

No doubt I will have the privilege to lead the funerals of many more people – maybe yours? I hope I continue to be inspired by the character legacy of those I'm privileged to know ... and maybe one day my children and grandchildren will be inspired by the legacy of the character I allow God to shape in me.

Your legacy is worth thinking about, because there's a 100% strike rate that you'll be leaving one. It's your choice what that is.